How can you forgive someone who hurt you so bad? How can you let go of the pain and release your fears and anxiety? Why not hold on and never let them forget? Because you are worth far more than that. God has so much in store for you and it all begins with healing. When you Forgive, you’re not Forgetting or giving a Free Pass! By making the choice to Forgive like Jesus has done for us many times even before we knew who he was. We then give God back the authority to be the Judge…not us. Here comes the Beauty…..when we are able to do this we then Free up our time and energy to be able to Focus on ourselves. By not focusing on what happened yesterday, last week and so forth we are able to turn that time and energy into Recovery, Strength, Love and Nurture towards Us.
It may sound too hard to do now, but with Time and Commitment to Ourselves you can do it. Our Loved Ones are Responsible for their Recovery….we can’t do it for them. What we can do is take care of us.
What did that look like for Me? I started therapy for myself unrelated to Addiction/Marriage….just for Me. I joined a CR group at church and began My own step study to work on Me. I bought nail polish, hand creams, oils and other self-care items and put them in a cute basket from Target and make a date with myself weekly to take time and do my own nails. That was something I NEVER would have done before. I also have changed my eating habits, I splurge on healthy food. I meditate every day, even if that means something gets put on the back burner. I started a small garden and decided to throw away EVERY self-help book I owned. I also made a habit to talk to God throughout the day, keep a thankful journal and this Blog. I decided to be a Victor…not a Victim like the Devil wants. I now know that no matter what happens in Life and my Husband’s Recovery I will be okay. And my Husband’s mood or Recovery does not dictate my Self-Worth or Happiness!!!
I hope you notice that by Forgiving I don’t dismiss what my Husband did, it was awful and he has paid a huge price. But, if I’m ever going to have an enjoyable life I need to move forward and release the pain. My life today is Better than I ever knew to pray for. I prayed he would just tolerate me. Now I feel like my Husband’s treasure, he protects and cares for me daily. I know we are where we are today because we Both started to Heal ourselves separately and together.