Saying Goodbye to Fear, Shame, Guilt and Lies

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Sometimes I feel that we are pushed and pulled in every direction.  With three Kiddos at home, homeschooling and trying to keep the house livable looking it’s a lot of work.  Now on top of all that throw a load of Addiction, Trust Issues, Fear, Guilt and Shame.  Yeah, things can go from mediocre to bleak real quick like.  So, what do you do?  What do you do when Satan has your Number, he knows all the Buttons to push and all the lies to whisper to you?  Well, I’m gonna tell you what I do…..

I Pray!  I Journal!  I Do ONLY What is Necessary! I Communicate with My Husband!  I Read My BIBLE!  I REACH Out to Others!  I Practice Self-Care!  I Let Go!  I Remain GRATEFUL!

I Pray so much I know Jesus is looking into an answering machine just for me. 🙂  I talk to Him, cry to Him, sing to Him, rejoice with Him, confess to Him, confide in Him…..Just Be with Him.  I want to be sooooo LOST in Jesus Christ that they need to send a search party looking for me.  I want there to be NO doubt who’s side I’m on.  And you know what?  That’s not always the case….because I’m Human, but every day I get a New day to start over and strive to be the Best.  I don’t waste my time babbling about all the wrong in my life and all my wants and needs when I Pray.  I pepper my thanksgivings, confessions and Hallelujah moments with my wants and worries.  I know he already knows My Heart and My needs.  My Prayer time is what keeps me close to the #1 in My Life….Jesus Christ

Journaling saved my Husband from many nights of having to sleep with his eyes open.  I took to the pen once I Discovered his secret life.  Even before discovery I’ve always kept a journal.  Notebook after notebook I filled them with anger, fear and questions.  I wrote to God, to myself, out to the Universe and even directly to my Husband.  It helped me get out what I was even too embarrassed to ask him.  I was able to say all the hateful things that were raging inside me.  And to tell you the truth by me doing that I saved our marriage from the extra hurt that my nasty (yet understandable) words could have caused.  Now I go back and reflect.  I can see the growth not only in our Marriage, but Myself.  I’m a Better person today then I was 3, 5, 10, 20 years ago….it’s crazy but true.

Next…I do Only what is Necessary.  This just proves my Co-dependency is on the mend!  I do not do things in the hopes that the other person will like me, need me or accept me.  I do not do things in order to receive praise or recognition.  I don’t do things because I feel the need to control so the outcome is perfect.  I don’t do things to gain self worth or to somehow alter the state of other’s emotional balance.  And there are a ton of other I don’t dos.  I only Do what is Necessary and my life has been less stressful every since.  If the kitchen is stacked with dishes, the kids didn’t finish their school work and I have a half done list still eyeballing me on the fridge door and my kids want to play a game I’m gonna play.  If it’s 9 pm and my personal reading and cuddle time is screaming, I’m going upstairs with no guilt and snuggling in with my Husband and my book.  That’s just my life….and you know what?  My Kiddos are doing just fine, the List is always there waiting for me and the CDC has not been called out to preform testing on my kitchen.  All in the world is fine…..relax and pace yourself.

I yapped a lot today, I will finish my list of what to do to fight of Satan later tonight.

Go ahead and Practice Praying, grab a Journal and Only do the Necessities!!!

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