Letting Go

insidechurchWow, Over a month……What have I been doing?  Well, being sick, well and then sick again.   Not to mention I did have to have some fibroids removed surgically.  Yes, that may have been too much info, but oh well…..that’s been my life.  We are still getting ready for a wedding and a sweet 16 party that will take place on New Year’s Eve….I know crazy talk, right????  But, look who your talking to!

Can I just say though that GOD IS GOOD!!!!!  If what has been going on the past month or so around here would have been going on 3 years ago instead of the present.  It would have been UGLY!!  I would have been running around like a Crazy person trying to keep up with my co-dependent ways, drag myself through my low self-esteem valley and would have been a PTSD mess regarding my health.  But I was NONE of that….through Recovery and Salvation I was able to let go and let God.

So, what does that really look like?  Well, for me that looked like me accepting that I can and should not Do It All.  I can not be All to Everyone…..THAT IS GOD”S JOB!!!!  So, I looked at what needed to truly be done for the Holidays and released all unrealistic responsibilities.  Next I realized that yes the Doctor said I may have Cancer( No Word Yet) and I need this surgery to remove some masses and fibroids.  Only God knows the outcome, so why worry before I need to and even in the midst of bad news….will be worrying, crying and stressing make my Cancer go away?  What could I do to get through this?  I could pray, immerse myself in scripture and make sure my heart is right.  Because if I have surgery and don’t make it I wake up with Jesus and can love my kids from Heaven.  If I wake up then I can Love on my Kids right here on earth.  Honestly it’s a win win for me.  Before surgery I asked the Lord to do whatever was his will, to just give me some peace and to calm the hearts of my children.  They were very worried, I have Lupus so any health issue causes stress and worry.  The Lord gave the Kids and I Peace, that is all I need and has been something I have longed for since I was a little girl.

My Holidays were fulfilled and just enough, there was no stress or high expectations.  And honestly, it was exactly how I have always wanted it.  My Husband and I have been working together to show our Kiddos Jesus every single day.  We do this by how we care for each other and our daily activities.  Spending time in scripture and daily prayer.  We haven’t tried to keep the challenges we face each day a secret from the Kids.  I think they will each be more prepared when they are faced with the same decisions we have to make each and every day.

I hope everyone had a Blessed Christmas, praying for you all!

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