So, the night I found out was awful. I remember feeling like I was hit by a truck. Blind-sighted to say the very least! He had received a text while I was making dinner. We had just moved into a new house and I had given his number to a neighbor we had met earlier in the day. The neighbor was setting up a poker night and had asked me to pass it on to my Husband. I thought it was him confirming. When I grabbed the phone it was a text from someone asking him to stop by after work that she had time to see him and blah, blah, blah…..I want bore you with details. My life changed in an instant! I know you don’t know my Full Story, but you will in time. But, I have lived a life filled of abuse of all kinds, death, neglect, foster care systems, life on the streets, one tragic event after another. Really I sometimes feel that God pushed the button on trails and tribulations and it became jammed for the past 30 years. But, that’s another post. 🙂
I immediately went to him and was like what the heck is this? He made excuses and stumbled over his words as he decided to give me a tiny bit of truth. Yes, I sometimes go and have a massage. What? What are you talking about? I kept probing and he admitted a friend took him to a strip club about 10 times, but he hadn’t been in like 5 years. The reason why is because he also took him to massage parlors. At this time he admitted to only a few times. And instead of going through all of the nasty details I will tell you over the course of about a month more and more developed. As he revealed more to me it was like watching someone have a limb sawed off. I could see pain all over his body as it transferred to mine. Now, I was the one holding on to all of this pain, shame and hurt.
Turns out he was with over 90 different people, most were in your local massage parlor. Yep, there was one right next to a daycare drop-off center, by grocery stores, beside banks, Targets, the mall, everywhere! He met prostitutes online through Craigslist and Backpage to met up at their homes or local Hotels. He had a Secret Life that’s for sure. While I was at home taking care of our youngest Son who has Autism and homeschooling the other two he was off having sex with other woman.
Was he careful at least? Most of the time in the beginning, but as his Addiction grew stronger he became more careless. He felt like garbage so he behaved like trash. I think I’ll stop there for now…..more on what happened next soon.
Take Care, Be Kind to Yourself, Talk to God…..